Time for the Band to Break Up

Posted on Monday 27 August 2012

I filled my car up last week–twice. I bought so many rounds of Laughing Cow cheese that requires no refrigeration, I laughed at myself. I bought half a dozen packages of gluten-free rice crackers–at full price, which I never do. And of course, the requisite 12-pack of toilet paper rounded out my purchases because someone told me they traded rolls for rum after Wilma in 2007.

Then there was the dog food, the endless bottles of water, and the rum and wine so we wouldn’t have to trade toilet paper for either. We were set for Isaac.

Back in the day in D.C., we replaced tropical-weather shopping for snow-storm hoarding: milk you never drank, bread I couldn’t eat, eggs whether you needed them or not, and toilet paper because you’ll use it at some point anyway, topped everyone’s list, along with bags of ice-melting chemicals–who cares if the stuff eats away your sidewalk–and yet another snow shovel whose handle will break. Then the waiting began, peppered with days of dire snowfall-potential predictions that always ranged from a dusting to a foot or more.

Those were the days, when just the threat of a flake closed schools and offices (I always loved working for those whose policy was to “follow the Federal Goverment”–they always seemed to close, at least early if not for good for a day or so), and a certain anticipatory thrill filled the air that maybe the icy white stuff would accumulate just enough to give workaholic D.C. an excuse to give itself a guiltless day off.

I have not experienced a hurricane. I had not experienced a true tropical storm until yesterday. I was, however, very familiar with the shopping-spree syndrome during which you tell every checkout person, “I’m not shopping for the storm–I really was out of these things!” Uh huh. Whatever. Or, really, who cares? I didn’t. I wanted to be prepared. Because from what I’ve heard from the SoFla lifers, the aftermath of a real storm is real ugly. Ask anyone–Wilma is their never-again gauge.

I cannot imagine lack of electricity for weeks. And not because of the lack of lighting–I have plenty of Coleman lanterns and 2,034 packs of D batteries with which to keep them lit. Nor because of the lack of hot water–SoFla tap water is perennially luke warm and never refreshing; I could deal with that. No, it is the unimaginable prospect of life in this swampy, so-humid-you-can’t-see-out-your-apartment-windows-every-morning-from-April-through-October atmospheric miasma without AC for even a day or two that gives me great, great pause.

Isaac was no Wilma. Isaac was hardly anything, so they say. But if you ask me, it was plenty enough. And the bands just keep on playing, tossing palm fronds, flooding intersections, smearing multiple lanes of A1A with muddy sand that has to be plowed, and closing only this while making the rest of us wish they’d close that, too.

Seriously, how long does one storm nowhere near that strong and now nowhere near us have to hang around? Bands, please break up. Have an artistic disagreement. Sleep with each others’ girlfriends. Just go.

And no, my musician pal in Nashville, Tennessee, I was not tweeting about wanting Chris Isaak’s band to break up! But thanks for asking a serious question that made me laugh.

I hope stupid Isaac lets the Gulf Coast off as easily as he did us. Would that we could call that a wrap on the 2012 storm season.

13 Comments for 'Time for the Band to Break Up'

  1.  
    L. in CA
    August 27, 2012 | 8:41 pm
     

    Wishing you well R.G. I hope the storm and it’s troubles will barely touch you.

  2.  
    August 27, 2012 | 8:56 pm
     

    i hear you, sister! we’ve been catching the outer bands since morning and probably for another day or so. nowhere near as bad as you, but. . .

    i heart is with the gulf states. xoxoxox

  3.  
    Restaurant Gal
    August 28, 2012 | 7:28 am
     

    L. in CA–Thanks. All much, much better now. And this was just a pain, a nuisance and a lot of squally weather. Don’t need to know what the real deal is like!

    Savannah–I find it quite amazing how far and wide these storms are, and how many places hundreds of miles away are getting the same raindrops that we just got a couple of bands ago! I know you, like me, will be very happy when we can stop thinking about tropical waves and which name is next in the alphabet.

  4.  
    August 28, 2012 | 9:15 am
     

    Was definitely thinking about you as the storm bore down on you. Sounds like you made it through unscathed.

  5.  
    Restaurant Gal
    August 28, 2012 | 9:18 am
     

    Brave Astronaut–Always good to hear from you. Yeah, not a big deal, but it’s the preparation paradox–don’t prepare, and you wish you had; prepare, and you kind of feel like a dumb ass.

  6.  
    Michelle
    August 28, 2012 | 12:32 pm
     

    A cold front came in right after Wilma, so we did not miss the AC. No power for 2 weeks and it was our best Halloween ever!!! Now Katrina, that was a sweaty mess.

  7.  
    August 28, 2012 | 6:26 pm
     

    Here in the panhandle, we really didn’t feel it until around 4 o’clock when the bottom fell out. Now, the first band is through and all’s quiet with the worst to come through tonight. But, this is nothing. I now consider myself a veteran of these storms. Through the summer, when the TP gets down below 6 rolls I get antsy. And I got a handle of rum on Sunday. You never know :)

  8.  
    August 28, 2012 | 7:07 pm
     

    Glad to hear it wasn’t as bad as you feared. Better to feel a touch foolish for stocking up that to feel really foolish for not being prepared :)

  9.  
    Bobbe
    August 28, 2012 | 9:18 pm
     

    After many years in Virginia Beach, you learn to be on red alert from September to December, Of course we did the super market shuffle and boarded up our windows, stayed glued to the TV. Then there were the crazies who went to the boardwalk and were often knock down by the force of the wind…out in Ca we don’t even get a warning when there is a earthquake! Glad you survived and have plenty of TP.

  10.  
    mur
    August 29, 2012 | 7:08 pm
     

    And here in north TX, we’re hoping against hope that we’ll get some rain out of Isaac’s remnants. I’d take a single drop if we could get it.

    Glad it wasn’t a terrible storm for you and that all is well as can be – and that you’re stocked with Charmin too!

  11.  
    August 30, 2012 | 12:48 pm
     

    I’ll take the Vegas dry, but do appreciate those of you that share your experiences. Much nicer to live things like this through others stories. (but then, you probably say that about our 115f summers)

  12.  
    September 1, 2012 | 1:44 pm
     

    So glad you’re okay. <3

  13.  
    Friend, S
    September 7, 2012 | 5:28 pm
     

    Missed this one when you posted it. I was on the gulf coast of FL for Debby in late June — 14 inches in 3 days. You’ll laugh when I tell you why I was there.

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