Comments on: Please, enough of the “How to be a Perfect Server” commentary

By: Yogi

Yogi — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 19:33:40 +0000

At the risk of beating all the way into the ground, let me offer 3 things:
1) When there is a real problem, I have always spoken up, mostly very softly, but spoken up. That’s not the issue here.
2) LOH’s comment is indicative of why neither my wife nor most of our friends will speak up unless the problem is huge. Who wants to be made fun of?
3) There is a middle ground between a dining disaster and “OMFG, the server didn’t see me for 30 seconds.” Most of what the lists point out is in that middle ground. Overfilling coffee, pushing bottled water by being condescending, asking how things are but not waiting for an answer: do you really think that any manager wants to hear this in the middle of lunch? Of course they’ll listen, but that’s the end of it. But those things affect how people think about their meals, and therefor to some degree, the tip they leave.

I guess that trying to tell people what makes it work for you isn’t OK. Reading Steve’s blog and yours (among others’) leaves me with the feeling of “just give me the 20% and fucking well leave, thanks.”

LOH, given your situation, maybe you should look in a mirror, buddy.

By: Restaurant Gal

Restaurant Gal — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 13:34:24 +0000

last one home–dinner on me someday, if I ever get to your part of the world.
Sophia–Yep, you’re human. Yep, you’re a server making a living. Yep, you get it.
Mary–Thanks for the visual.

By: Mary

Mary — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 01:55:15 +0000

in a prior job, I had a co-worker who put herself thru college by waitressing at a coffeeshop. There was one customer that gave everyone the heebie-jeebies – his breakfast order was always “liver, rare and eggs, sunnyside up”

By: Sophia

Sophia — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 21:56:21 +0000

Thanks for this post, RG! I certainly don’t depend on my waitressing job to pay the bills as I’m only a uni student, but I have been doing it for three years, and the endless lists on “how to be a better server” really drive me up the wall. I know my menu, I know how to give great service with a smile, and I have off-days too. Did I choose service as my profession (at least for now)? I suppose I did. Do I give poor service some days? I’m sure some would say that I do.

But if more people who were dining out would focus on the important things in life, as you said, rather than nitpicking every little tiny thing I did, or whether or not it took me an extra 30 seconds to pick up that appetizer plate, then I’m sure they would not only be easier to serve, but they would enjoy life a lot more. To get truly great service, that means being a truly great customer/guest as well. All I ask is to be treated like another human being, rather than that girl in the uniform who didn’t bring someone another glass of wine fast enough (even though that someone might not know that the service bar was completely swamped).

In the end, we’re all in this together, and servers are just trying to do the same thing as their customers — make a living.

By: Yogi

Yogi — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 21:49:03 +0000

LOH: this yogi has nothing to do with Bikram, or any other yoga, for that matter.
Ah, well, how about a joke?

What did the buddhist say to the Hot Dog Vendor?
> Make me one with everything.
When he asked for his change, what did the vendor reply?
>Change comes from within.

By: last one home

last one home — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 20:10:01 +0000

I know for a fact that Bikram is a douchebag, because I have endured his f ool ishly torturous classes–perhaps though it is just that every “yogi” is a douchebag–the answer to almost every question and every problem lies within–sound familiar?

By: Restaurant Gal

Restaurant Gal — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 17:19:26 +0000

Yogi–I would urge you to speak up when it’s not right. Talk to a manager. Offer the constructive criticism. I know my DC stores would have wanted you to, and would have responded. I know my Fort Lauderdale store was the same way. And, ultimately, you have the ultimate power–do not patronize those places that continually disappoint. They won’t be around long, anyway.

By: Yogi

Yogi — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 17:12:34 +0000

Yes, clearly some people are jerks, customers as well as servers. Not what I said or meant. Nor that I “mostly” have bad experiences: where did you get that from?

It’s not about “awful” or “terrible”. It’s about disappointing, unfriendly, careless service. It’s about why should I have to wait to eat when my food is cold and the server gives me the stink-eye when i call it to his/her attention?

“A decent place is receptive..” Sure. Now tell me how many of the 1000s of restaurants are really receptive to the idea that “It could have been better if I had actually been allowed to drink my coffee the way I like it.” Hmm? Or, “Actually, medium rare is not bloody all the way through.”

Look, RG, many, many places have lovely, hard-working staff that are functionally clueless about what makes a good experience. Or more accurately, what does not damage an acceptable one. THAT”S what is being talked about here, not perfection, not experts, just how not to screw up a customer’s good time. And yes, of course there will always be jerks. But that’s not the point.

Survey after survey has shown that attitude counts for more than food when it comes to tips. I don’t want anyone to kiss ass, just don’t blow it off.

By: Restaurant Gal

Restaurant Gal — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 16:12:41 +0000

It dawns on me that I am guilty of writing yet another tome on the subject!

Kelly, I actually agree. Service industry as a career choice = be prepared to offer professional service. But some of the suggestions I have been reading….

Yogi–A decent place is receptive to comments and suggestions. A decent place will hear you if your food is awful or if service sucks. Sorry that you have had mostly terrible experiences dining out. As for the idea that providing good service always leads to receiving good tips–a nice thought. Sometimes , however, people are simply cheap, no matter how great the service.

By: Yogi

Yogi — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 15:30:46 +0000

Well, I HAVE worked hospitality: FOH and BOH. And other customer service jobs as well as owning a yarn shop for 4 years. And I will tell you that there is NO other place where, as a customer, you have the privilege of paying for your purchase, whether or not it is 1) as ordered, 2) done correctlly, and 3) at your most vulnerable time for most people: entertaining. And then, regardless of anything that preceeded the end of the meal, you are asked NOT to evaluate your experience, but just add on 20%.

You know, there’s a reason why these things keep getting written (and I am well aware that there are many customer who haven’t read the equivalent list for themselves), and I swear on the bones of my sainted grandmother that if the servers at the restaurants that I frequent would embrace 1/10 of what was on that list, their tips would go up 10-20% OVERNIGHT.

And yes, I realize that the drumbeat is monotonous. But like I tell my students, I HAVE to keep telling you the same things over and over, because you don’t KNOW them yet.

If you really understood that your paragraph starting: “Learn your menu..” is something that MOST servers in MOST restaurants simply don’t understand and don’t do, you would understand the frustration that accompanies dining out.