While You Were Out

Posted on Thursday 27 August 2009

“We were all holding our breath for a week while you were out sick.”

Oh, thank you, I think.

“Because we were sure we’d all get the flu from you. But no one did! Good thing, too. Anyway, you feeling better?”

Feeling the love, mostly.

***

“Oh, you’re back, finally? Hope you’re feeling better. You still look really sick, though.”

Sometimes, women can be so nice.

***

“Heard you had the chicken flu.”

Really.

***

“It was Swine Flu, wasn’t it?”

Pretty sure it wasn’t.

***

“We saved these tips for you when we worked one of the nights. Unfortunately, they didn’t tip us too well!”

I love my bosses.

***

“We were worried about you, you know. So relieved to see you back at work.”

Please, will you be my grandparents? You are so sweet to me.

***

“I know this is going to sound strange, but did you get breast implants while you were off?”

Knowing you as an otherwise great customer, I am going to laugh at this and answer, “Shhhh. Let’s keep it our little secret about why I was out for a week.”

9 Comments for 'While You Were Out'

  1.  
    August 27, 2009 | 11:27 am
     

    If having the flu makes your breasts bigger, there will be men right across the world trying to get their girlfriends to catch it while desperately trying to avoid it themselves… ;)

  2.  
    Echo
    August 27, 2009 | 1:55 pm
     

    Welcome back ! :)

  3.  
    Blew
    August 27, 2009 | 3:40 pm
     

    Glad your so “loved” down there. They reallt do dance to a differeent drummer, don’t they! LOL

  4.  
    Blew
    August 27, 2009 | 3:41 pm
     

    oops, should have been REALLY

  5.  
    Restaurant Gal
    August 27, 2009 | 4:00 pm
     

    Kim–I think it would be easier to pass along the name of the Victoria’s Secret bra, then no one has to catch the flu and lose a few pounds.

    Echo–Thanks!

    Blew–You know, I actually like so many of the folks who frequent my bar. But like angry children, I think they were a little miffed I was out sick. Like I abandoned the ship or something. Too funny.

  6.  
    August 27, 2009 | 4:02 pm
     

    Glad you finally got better, and it seems you were missed.

  7.  
    August 28, 2009 | 5:02 am
     

    Glad you’re recovered. I always like to start my day with one of your posts, they are so well written.

  8.  
    August 31, 2009 | 7:39 am
     

    glad you’re feeling better, sugar! good times, right? uh, NO, right? ;) xoxo

  9.  
    September 2, 2009 | 8:56 am
     

    Glad you’re feeling better!

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