That Time of Year, Again

Posted on Saturday 8 August 2009

About once a year, I wonder if Restaurant Gal has perhaps seen one day, one post too many. This is usually sparked by several unrelated events: a seemingly absent muse and the feeling that I have no more stories to tell, a busy work schedule with barely enough time to do anything else but work, and receiving a sudden flurry of sarcastic and/or negative comments (on site and in email) from RG readers.

I know, I know–I write a public blog and accept comments on what I write. I know, therefore, that I need to suck it up and take the good with the bad, the kind with the unkind, and the get-it folks with the don’t-have-a-clue people. I know that 364 days out of the year, I don’t usually react to the sometimes ugly commentary. I also know that I appreciate all thoughtful commentary–supportive or not.

But once a year–and it’s right now–I wonder why I bother to put any of myself out there through my writing. I wonder how it is that a heartfelt post written by me can spark a particularly nasty comment written by some anonymous reader using a fake email address. So clever, that fake email address, right?

Maybe I’m just tired, which is making me tired of it all. Maybe I just need to chill for a day and let this day pass. Probably, I just need to get over myself and know that the next story will reveal itself in the right time, when it’s time, and that it will be read and understood–or not. And if it’s not, then perhaps that means my writing is not quite up to par and it’s time to self-edit a bit more before I post.

I write this, not as a shameless solicitation for support, but rather to offer this:

To the RG readers who never comment but who visit my site on a regular basis, thank you.

To the RG readers who always comment, I miss you when you don’t and always appreciate when you do.

To the RG readers who pop in now and then and offer thoughtful, even if critical, commentary–you’re welcome any time.

To those few RG readers who suddenly feel a need to be particularly nasty, I’ll get over you soon. And then I would suggest you consider reading another blog since mine seems to provoke so much irritation.

Yeah, I just need to take a day. That would be today.

43 Comments for 'That Time of Year, Again'

  1.  
    Tamaran17
    August 8, 2009 | 9:57 am
     

    RG,
    I’ve been reading your blog for sometime now but the posts a few days ago touched me deeply. I had to take a few days to get my thoughts together. For your losses, I am deeply sorry. For your willingness to share them, I am forever grateful. While my grandfather’s dementia is much different than the post you wrote about seeing a friend for the last time, I could relate. Dementia is taking my grandfather slowly and I’ve lost the man he used to be. Your post helped me realize that it is okay to grieve that and enjoy what moments we have left. thank you
    Andrea

  2.  
    Aunty Pol
    August 8, 2009 | 10:25 am
     

    I was suprised at my reaction to your post sweetie, it was an immediate ” I soo get this “.

    There are a lot of blogs and bloggers out there. Some blogs are very tight and stay on point and in focus.

    Some are wonderful glimpses into someone elses perspective,

    Some are just so damn ‘d funny they make you laugh – hard.

    Yours is the best of the above.

    Some blogs are scattered with many minor themes and characters in them…like my blog.

    Sometimes I have to wonder why I write mine, and have come to realize it’s in a small way, my release and small claim to a voice when I need it.

    I have often thought about quiting it or backing away …then some one I know in my real lilfe comments in a meaningfull way or I get a great comment.

    I love your blog and your perspective.

    IF you stop, do it out of your own choosing , not because some one posted crap. The trolls often have noting better to do and are either too inept or chickenshit to start their own blog…so they trash others.

    Take care.

    AP/Jane

  3.  
    August 8, 2009 | 11:30 am
     

    as someone said to me when i got flamed…you must be doing something right! :~D take a break, sugar, if y’all need one. we’ll be here when y’all come back! xoxoxo

  4.  
    August 8, 2009 | 12:37 pm
     

    Don’t self-edit based on a few losers. It doesn’t matter what you write, those people will find a way to tear it apart.

    You share real experiences through your writing and that’s valuable. Being true to your writing is the most important thing you can do.

  5.  
    August 8, 2009 | 4:22 pm
     

    Screw the haters. Their problems belong to them, not to you. They just aren’t smart enough to figure out that they are the problem. Don’t go away. I have been reading here for ages!

  6.  
    teri
    August 8, 2009 | 5:36 pm
     

    Hi RG,
    I have never left any comments before, but visit frequently. ๐Ÿ™‚ I just wanted to say I really enjoy your writing, Many times your posts have made me stop and think
    (in my crazy, fast paced, overworked life). For what it’s worth, I appreciate how you ‘put yourself out there’ and would miss your blog if you stopped!

  7.  
    Angie
    August 8, 2009 | 6:39 pm
     

    Hey! Love your blog and check each morning to see what you’ve posted. I’ve found that most people who find it easy to flame others are actually small and cowardly outside of the internet. Water on a ducks back dear girl.

  8.  
    Joe
    August 8, 2009 | 7:46 pm
     

    You blog for you, not us, we just get to enjoy reading it!

  9.  
    Rose Royce
    August 8, 2009 | 7:59 pm
     

    You should do what feels right. But I do read you, enjoy your thoughts and views and lately I don’t know what to say to anyone and sometimes that leaves me saying nothing because I’m blank.

  10.  
    j
    August 8, 2009 | 9:34 pm
     

    Criticism, at least in the journalistic sense, is worthwhile and helpful. Commentary from the incurably insecure, e.g., in the previous post, doesn’t qualify as criticism.

    Illegitimis non carborundum

  11.  
    August 8, 2009 | 10:00 pm
     

    Hey RG,

    It’s OK if you need time. We all do now and again. I am not sure what category of reader I fall into. But know that I am always here and comment on occasion. You have our support and we like having you around.

  12.  
    L.
    August 8, 2009 | 10:49 pm
     

    RG …. you’re welcome and I send a big “thank you” back to you. Write whatever you want, when you want … we just love it. Take care (hugs)

  13.  
    Debra
    August 8, 2009 | 10:59 pm
     

    I found your blog a couple of months ago and was immediately caught by your writing, and how real it is. I was hooked instantly! I’ve since been working my way through your archives from beginning to present (I’ve made it to September of 2008, almost caught up!!)

    I’ve never commented before but wanted to take a minute to do so and to say thank you for putting yourself out there for us to read!

  14.  
    Suz
    August 9, 2009 | 1:42 am
     

    I don’t comment as much as before, but I always feel like there’s a gift under the tree when I see a new post on my Yahoo feed. ๐Ÿ™‚ Glad you vented that so we can look forward to more insight!!

  15.  
    August 9, 2009 | 6:54 am
     

    We write because we want to write.
    And we write snapshots – thoughts, brief moments, ideas.
    And we often make wee changes to who said what, and in what order, or what setting because it makes a better story.
    And sometimes we craft away for hours or days on end
    And sometimes we rant as fast as we can type and hit “post” before we can change our mind
    And some people adore what we write
    And some people depise what we write
    And some people take us literally when we are joking
    And some people are abusive because they get a kick out of creating a reaction

    But hey, some people are assholes, some people are ignorant and some people have no sense of humour.

    But then we don’t write for them.

    They live in their worlds, and we live in ours, and we welcome in anyone who wants to share a bit of it.

    But how others respond to anything we write is a reflection of who they are, and not to be taken personally ๐Ÿ™‚

    ((hugs))

  16.  
    Jenni G
    August 9, 2009 | 11:04 am
     

    RG, I have been reading your blog for quite a while and enjoy everything you write. Thanks for letting me into your life and brightening my day everytime you post. Don’t let the haters get you down.

  17.  
    August 9, 2009 | 12:11 pm
     

    Whatever you decide, it’s been quite a ride, RG. I’m hoping you’ll continue, but that’s my own selfish wish. Who else will keep me motivated?

  18.  
    Restaurant Gal
    August 9, 2009 | 12:19 pm
     

    Really nice thoughts. Thank you. I didn’t mean to imply I was going to stop RG, only that for some reason, every August, crazy people surface in my comments and email and make me question what it is I’m doing with the blog. But Kim, you said it so well. I’ll keep writing. I just needed to vent and take a breath. Next story coming here soon. –RG

  19.  
    August 9, 2009 | 3:42 pm
     

    I can SO relate. I feel this way more than once a year… but plug ahead. In the end, writing, and the need to write, wins.

    (btw, I love your blog)

  20.  
    August 9, 2009 | 3:44 pm
     

    ๐Ÿ™‚

  21.  
    Jennifer
    August 9, 2009 | 4:23 pm
     

    Sweetie, do what’s best for you. If this isn’t bringing you joy, then for heaven’s sake, you owe us nothing. BUT, that said, if you feel like taking a break and then coming back, it’d be VERY VERY fine with me. I do love your writing and reading about your life and your world. You’re an incredibly special woman, stronger than most anyone I’ve ever encountered, and you teach me things on a regular basis.

    Wait a minute, what am I saying? NO NO RG DON’T GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    {{{{{}}}}}

  22.  
    Mike
    August 9, 2009 | 10:23 pm
     

    RG, always enjoy the posts! Thanks, Mike

  23.  
    Piper
    August 9, 2009 | 11:15 pm
     

    Let’s see, someone doesn’t like your writing so they keep reading it to be SURE they hate it. THEN they spend even MORE time writing you to TELL you they hate it? For what end do they go to this effort? So you will give them their ten minutes back? Cower in shame? Cut off your typing fingers? Move to the deepest part of Congo and live in a cave lest you tempt their wrath by blogging again??

    You can be pretty sure you are not dealing with rocket scientists here. Unless of course they are very petty, very bored, very badly adjusted rocket scientists , which I guess is possible.

  24.  
    August 10, 2009 | 9:52 am
     

    “I didnโ€™t mean to imply I was going to stop RG, only that for some reason, every August, crazy people surface in my comments and email and make me question what it is Iโ€™m doing with the blog.”

    August is a hairy month. I think it makes even borderline-normal people go somewhat crazy. Maybe it’s the intense heat, maybe it’s an end of summer frenzy, I don’t know … but September always brings with it a calm.

    Only 21 more days of August! Hang in there.

  25.  
    August 10, 2009 | 10:41 am
     

    Still reading after a couple of years. Still here for you. Still keeping you in thought and prayer. Hang in there. Big hug. -J

  26.  
    Samantha
    August 10, 2009 | 12:27 pm
     

    I visit but never comment (until now). I love your writing and your insights. Don’t get down or feel bad because of the fools who choose to be nasty- how they act is a reflection of them, not you! Keep on writing, RG.

  27.  
    Christine in LA
    August 10, 2009 | 12:36 pm
     

    Hugs

  28.  
    August 10, 2009 | 12:38 pm
     

    Blog away. Even when you have nothing to say.

    Earlier comment, you blog for you not us.

    Oh and screw the negative folks. They suck anyway

  29.  
    Blewknight
    August 10, 2009 | 2:12 pm
     

    RG, I read you all the time and wish that I had enough to “blog” about to do my own. Maybe I do, who knows. Anyway, i enjoy being allowed to follow along as you go down life’s highway. Enjoy the ride….It ‘s fun being in your backseat! At least I don’t tell you how to “drive”.

  30.  
    gabrielle
    August 10, 2009 | 2:40 pm
     

    RG, when I used to take a writing class, somehow all the positive comments went over my head, and that one nasty, negative, unhelpful comment stayed on my mind for days. And, even though my rational self would give my writer self a good talking to, you can guess which one preyed on me. Listen to all the other commenters here who appreciate your writing, and I will send virtual slings and arrows to that gobshite (an irish swear word) who upset you!

  31.  
    k
    August 10, 2009 | 3:00 pm
     

    Love reading you ๐Ÿ™‚

  32.  
    August 10, 2009 | 3:33 pm
     

    I think there’s just something in the water. Maybe everybody’s starting to get antsy because the end of summer’s coming too quickly. I know so many people right now, including myself, who are grumpy and bitchy and crazy! Don’t let it get to you.

  33.  
    Kim
    August 10, 2009 | 4:18 pm
     

    I struggle with writing and putting myself out there. Sometimes I think I will quit because all I feel like all I am doing is whining, sometimes because as a writer I just don’t quite measure up to some of the awesome writers that I read ( one of those being you) Sometimes because it is just so exhausting agonizing over the revisions of a story ( or re-writing a comment like this one 10 times )and I bore myself to tears, but as always, I come back and post something and apologize for leaving to the few that stuck by me….
    I was glad to read it was just a bit of a phase and that you weren’t running off and leaving me :)~

  34.  
    August 11, 2009 | 3:09 am
     

    as a fellow restaurant worker, i enjoy reading your stories. to paraphrase U2, “don’t let the bastards get you down.”

  35.  
    August 11, 2009 | 4:29 am
     

    Take a mental health day. I do that as often as I can. Been catching up and realizing the great writing and perspective that I’ve missed. You’re awesome. Don’t forget how much you rock. ๐Ÿ™‚

  36.  
    Kris
    August 11, 2009 | 12:47 pm
     

    Thank you for your writing. I love it.

  37.  
    Binx
    August 11, 2009 | 2:17 pm
     

    I sure would miss you if you didn’t update for a while, but then making me happy isn’t your responsibility. Know however long between entries most of us are out here wishing you well!

  38.  
    Dave
    August 11, 2009 | 4:11 pm
     

    Your site is one of my favorites, which I check every morning to see if there’s a new post.. Please continue to post to your blog as time permits.. We are a patient species… ๐Ÿ™‚

  39.  
    maureen Lordon
    August 12, 2009 | 2:18 pm
     

    I seldom Leave a comment because you seem to cover everything so beautifully yourself I guess I’ve forgotten to tell you how much I enjoy your writing . I think you have a real gift & I would fell a true loss if you stopped writing

  40.  
    August 12, 2009 | 8:31 pm
     

    I completely understand how you feel. It is amazing how something so relatively minor, a short blurb about one’s life, can inspire such scathing words from others. I love your writing dear, and though it is something that I struggle with myself, try not to let the naysayers get you down.

  41.  
    August 12, 2009 | 9:46 pm
     

    Hmm, sorry, can’t think of anything nasty to say, yet again.

  42.  
    Shannon
    August 14, 2009 | 2:58 pm
     

    I feel like I’ve gotten to know you over the years I’ve followed your blog. I would sincerely miss you if you went away.

  43.  
    October 9, 2009 | 9:48 pm
     

    paysafe card pokher online…

    commitments scouted Bangui …

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