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Archive for June, 2009

D.C. Bound

“Do you think we can function in normal society after six months in the Keys?” asks my girlfriend who,like me, hails from big-city, civilized northern climes. We are lounging by a pool, sipping girlie drinks. She is going home for a few weeks. I am going to D.C. for a long weekend and a Jr. […]

Good Cat

“One of the farm cats had kittens. So cute. Do you want the orange one?” asked my friend. We were petless at the time, and my kids were at good ages for a cat to come into the home–four and six–so what the hell? I’d grown up with cats. Cats are easy. “There’s just one […]

The Bar Raised Between Us

( Guests )

She always compliments what I am wearing. She is from D.C. She always says she and I could be friends, and we should have a drink together sometime. Except we are not friends. We likely never will be. A vodka tonic with extra lime will always be between us–the one I make, the one another […]

Worst of the Worst from the Front Dating Lines

“You talk a lot about your girlfriends, you know, how great friends they are and all. So, do you, um, you know, like them a whole lot? You know, like that?” “I mean, so, I just want to be your friend. I like you and all, just not like that. So, can we be friends, […]

It’s a Keys Thing

( Guests )

I had only been open a few minutes when they walked in: a police officer, one of my regulars, and a friend of the regular. “Good morning!” the officer said, broadly smiling. “Hey, morning to you,” I said. “You working a new beat, now?” I was surprised to see him in my bar. This particular […]

Local Discount

( Guests )

Under its original owner, my previous restaurant gave a local discount to those customers who patronized the place on a regular basis. No one asked for the discount, because if they did, and those who had worked there the longest didn’t know them, the answer was, “Sorry.” Under the new ownership, my previous restaurant gives […]

Let’s Do Lunch

A former grade school teacher of mine and I reconnected what seems like a hundred years ago when she and I were substitute teaching in an elementary school. Turned out, she subbed in both my kids’ classes and loved regaling all the other students about how, “I taught sixth grade to their mother!” It also […]