Archive for April, 2009

When You Wake Up in the Morning

“Can I have some of your fries?” she slurred, then reached over me and grabbed a handful of French fries off the plate of steak and potatoes that Upset Waitress and I were sharing. We were starving. We were tired from work. We were drinking. We decided to order a big fat steak to make […]

Stolen Kisses Got Me All A’Twitter

It has been months–months–since I had a giddy, fun, quasi-flirtateous day. It has been months–and frankly it’s felt like years–since I kissed someone for the sheer fun of it. It has been forever since I simply had fun for fun’s sake and expected nothing more beyond a kiss when the day was done. Yesterday was […]

I am the Real Restaurant Gal

I went on Twitter for the first time a few days ago. And guess what? Some food writer in South Carolina is using my copyrighted name as hers. Nice. I contacted her boss to point out that my name and my site content is copyrighted. The boss said I should get a lawyer and deal […]

You Know How I Like It

“Rum and diet, splash of cran, tall, lighter on the cran, no ice. But you know that, RG.” And I do, even though I toss in a few ice cubes because I know she likes just a few. “Try this, I love the bouquet. I think you will, too,” says the manager to the girls […]


I am surrounded by the nicest, the best, the most wonderful. And yet I manage to say goodbye with all the courage I don’t have, with the mere brush of a kiss I feel with every fiber of my being. And then I walk away. I am surrounded by debt. Horrific, never-ending loans and back […]

Junior High Pals

Think back, a long time back, to when you were a 13-year-old dweeb, even if you were cool. Because no one is ever really cool when they are 13. In our hearts, in our minds–in reality–we were all awkward as hell. I was cool, but then again, I was so not. I know this. I […]

Keys Dating Pool

I knew my rent was not enough to cover anyone’s mortgage. I knew it was too good to be true. And it is. My landlord’s house–my home–is in foreclosure. I am faithfully sending rent payments to someone who is not faithfully making her mortgage payments. “Don’t worry,” said the handsome lawyer who showed up at […]

I Could Never!

“I could never be a waitress in a busy place,” I told Upset Waitress before I moved from Fort Lauderdale to become a waitress in a busy place. In fact, I could. I did. I do. “I could never be a bartender, even in a quiet locals’ place. It’s been too long ago since I […]