Friendly Advice

Posted on Sunday 7 December 2008

Friends are funny. My South Florida friends are hilarious. Just when you think you know one, she stirs up high school drama and, poof, said friend is a friend no more.

My best guy friend is my rock. But last night, after too much Saturday night fun, he leveled a little too much with me. I make him angry, he said, because I sell myself so short in every way. I am just trying to make my way, I told him. Make it better, he argued. Okay, just know I am doing my best, I replied. Because I don’t necessarily disagree with him. I just hate to hear my best guy friend be so blunt in his criticism.

Sometimes friends tell you something you already know, and they think they are helping you. Sometimes you just want them to go back to being your rock. Still, I love my guy friend. I always will.

Hilarious, right?

RG Daughter is visiting for a couple of weeks while she works on her senior thesis. Her oldest and dearest friend goes to Miami. We took our dogs and ourselves to visit her, joining the throngs of tourists and crazy people along Lincoln Road. As I watched these two girls giggle and talk and hug and simply be together–one whom I birthed and the other whom I might as well have–I marveled at the sincerity and maturity of their friendship, envying as much as admiring its unspoken and forgiving closeness.

Nothing funny about that–we should all be so lucky to have that kind of history with that kind of a friend.

My day-at-a-time boy continues to reach out, making sure we have many, many days together and that we have all the time we need. It is good. It is drama-free. Having gotten over a first hurdle of panic at the intensity of our feelings for one another, it feels remarkably easy once again.

“Because we’re still friends and we laugh,” he smiles when I ask him how this has happened.

I don’t share this special relationship with my South Florida friends. I don’t tell them I don’t want to run from this one. And it’s kind of nice having so much happiness between just us, for now, while it’s still new and evolving.

It’s also nice to laugh everyday, one day at a time.

4 Comments for 'Friendly Advice'

  1.  
    L.
    December 8, 2008 | 2:41 am
     

    Hello RG,

    I think you’ve got it exactly right, don’t share it …keep it sweet/full of fire/agree to disagree … but just keep it between the two of you.

    I’m so glad that I came by to visit you at just this minute. I read “Having gotten over a first hurdle of panic at the intensity of our feelings for one another, it feels remarkably easy once again.” That is happening to me right now and until I read your words, well I couldn’t put my finger on what was going on in my situation. That’s what I love about your writing … you magnify your world for us and many times I can identify. Take care, L.

  2.  
    December 8, 2008 | 12:20 pm
     

    Glad for the happiness. Hope it keeps going.

  3.  
    Jennifer
    December 8, 2008 | 11:05 pm
     

    Just keep breathing and taking it one day at a time, Gal. You’re doing beautifully, and your Internet Friends are rooting for you. And sending virtual Milkbones to the Ravishing Rouletta. 😉

  4.  
    Hal
    December 12, 2008 | 10:35 am
     

    Well, this is the first time I’m writing in a blog! I guess I’m first getting up to speed. I had the pleasure of meeting this “restaurantgal” live in person while running away from my own relationship dilemmas in NY. Hey, I think I was number 52 in a long string of possible suitors while escaping to the Keys. We had some pleasant adult conversation about life, love, kids and relationships. Admittedly, most men are jerks, however, many women have their own ajada. Oy!! My numerous ex’s keep haunting me and don’t seem to want me out of their lives. What is it about being a “good guy” that give liberties to women to latch on for life. In my book, relationships of longevity last because of a mutual desire to communicate, explore and respect. This MUST be 50/50 or it’s not going to work. Not to say that the eqilibrium won’t go askew at times, but must be dealt with. Most people tend to sweep these thoughts under the carpet so to speak, as it may be a passing feeling or just the timing is off. In the heat of a new partner, the excitement and newness is HOT! To maintain these feelings at this level, near impossible… the mystery escapes and the lust fades. Routine and “complacency” sets in and that’s when the trouble starts.
    Im guilty as charged in my own complacency!
    Any how, I guess I found a little comfort while meeting restaurant gal, after all, I’m in the biz as well and am intrigued by her muse. I guess we’ll see how I can impact this blog! good luck all for now

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