What My Boss Doesn’t Know

Posted on Monday 21 July 2008

That he didn’t make me feel utterly incompetent by my having to call him 22,000 times tonight.

That I actually had a pretty good sense of how to handle tonight, but since it was my first such horrific experience in this restaurant, I had to call him 22,000 times.

That it wasn’t the substance of how the guests acted tonight that made me call him 22,000 times, it was the whole “Do I call him or don’t I?” thing that made me call him 22,000 times tonight.

That I held myself together throughout it all–throughout all of the crap of the freak show that made up this off-season Sunday night.

That I really, really did hold myself together.

That his nice offer of “a drink” after the horrific freak show kept me from going to the beach bar.

That tonight wasn’t as bad as it appeared.

That tonight was more than as bad as it appeared.

But not because of the freak show.

That tonight I felt like a “real” manager of sorts, that we didn’t implode on my watch despite my 22,000 calls to him, that the drink and conversation I barely listened to with him and another pal while I took him up on that drink after the night that was a freak show was incredibly welcome and needed.

That I owe him 22,000 thanks.

11 Comments for 'What My Boss Doesn’t Know'

  1.  
    MenSuck
    July 21, 2008 | 9:55 am
     

    Glad you are making it through these tough times RG. It does get easier, really.

    About “The Boy”. I nthink most of us have been there… the handsome, elusive, charming man that we adore who does not quite adore us as much as we adore him. It sucks, it hurts, but the natural tendancy to feel like “if only”, or “I should have done ” only makes it worse. In reality, as much as it might not “feel” that way, it is nothing about you that makes him not interested. It is the way some guys are. Look at it this way… how many absolutely beautiful, wonderful, talented women have been cheated on or dumped? Jennifer Anniston, Christie Brinkley are just two examples that spring to mind. The point is that some men are juust scumbags and ruled by the wrong head. No one is going to change them, and its not worth it to try.

    I know it doesn’t make it easier right now, but you need to let go and you need to stay the heck away from that bar too because I think the main thing dragging you back there is to try to keep tabs on him or hear gossip about him. I’m sure that he and his friends think that, even if its not true. Do you really want him and them thinking you are a lovesick puppy pining after him?

    I’m sure you are the first and you won’t be the last woman this scumbag has hurt in this way. You best revenge is moving on, and not caring, and staying AWAY from him. Don’t you think everytime you are in that bar and he or his friends see you there that it is like a little ego perk for him and guys like him everywhere? If you genuinely aren’t in there trying to see him or hear about him, he and his pals sound self-centered enough to think that anyway and it gives them affirmation that women really DO pine after the jerks that treat them like crap.

    RG, you are a strong woman, even if you don’t always feel so strong, you are… so stand up and move on. Enjoy your new apartment and seek out new bars, with new friends and new boys, who will hopefully be the ones worth pining a little for.

  2.  
    Angie
    July 21, 2008 | 10:00 am
     

    Freak show? Please fill us in, this sounds like a great story.

  3.  
    MenSuck
    July 21, 2008 | 1:41 pm
     

    Oh, and not sure if this will make you feel any better or not, but… wonder if the “WonderBoy”‘s sudden change of plans and him being in town means that his latest pursuit beat him to the punch and kicked him to the curb first. The poetic justice would certainly be fitting.

  4.  
    MB
    July 21, 2008 | 4:59 pm
     

    MenSuck,

    Let it go.

    Please?

  5.  
    MenSuck
    July 21, 2008 | 7:12 pm
     

    Sorry MB… I just don’t like stinkers making RG unhappy ๐Ÿ™

  6.  
    July 22, 2008 | 1:40 am
     

    Sounds like you have a GREAT boss.

    Our Mid-kid’s new GM in Chicagoland is an all around great guy, except — he has no idea how to handle discipline or constructive criticism or anything other than happy times/glad hands. It makes for some really icky moments in the restaurant at times. He makes his managers feel like absolute shit when they ask a question that he thinks they should already know. Not a good way to GM a place.

    As she told me her latest tale of GM woe tonight, I told her that at least she’s learning how NOT to be an asshole GM. She acknowledged that all her employees absolutely love her. They literally send up a cheer when she walks in the front door every day. (Shoot. Nobody has EVER sent up a cheer for me when I walked through a door!)

    Hooray for your cool boss.

    (Is he single?)

    Hugs and hang in there …

  7.  
    July 22, 2008 | 6:55 am
     

    Hi RG

    Thanks for the tip of going to Old Ebbitt Grill in DC. We had a great time there. It was very busy but the food was great. The only problem was there was five of us and the fifth person (me) had to sit on the end of the table getting in the way of other patrons and wait staff. I didn’t look around but surely they have tables or booths that sit 5 or 6.

    I love the blog but what I can’t understand is why the boy doesn’t love you.

    Chin up bonny lass.

    Andy
    London UK xxx

  8.  
    Restaurant Gal
    July 22, 2008 | 7:26 am
     

    MenSuck–Always appreciate your support and insights, but MB is right, time to move on.

    Angie–Yes, sort of. Just bad behavior the likes of which we’ve all read about by me and other bloggers. One can only write so much about that bad behavior until it becomes redundant and a little tiresome. Suffice it to say, I am glad that Sunday is done!

    MB–I know. It’s time.

    Kevin–Yeah, we’ve all had challenging managers. I am sure that I, too, am a challenge to some, for that matter. What was terrific in this instance was the 100% support and backup my GM provided, and his acknowledgement that I and the other manager on at the time had done the best we could under the most difficult of circumstances.

    Andy–I have been meaning to email you since you wrote about your DC trip. I guess I should have warned you about how busy that place is, but it’s kind of a must-see historic eatery close to the White House and the Mall. I try to eat there at least once every time I am in town, and always suggest it to friends when they visit. BUT, timing is everything for a good experience, and even down times there are busy! Did you try any raw bar items–that is the best around for the best price, in my opinion. As for the other, yeah, well…. And my chin is up, I promise. ๐Ÿ™‚

  9.  
    July 22, 2008 | 11:29 am
     

    If he was a good boss, he knows, or can figure it out. Just hope it keeps on moving along for you.

  10.  
    July 22, 2008 | 12:18 pm
     

    22,000 is fine. Most people’s breaking point it 27,105. Make sure you remember that…

  11.  
    Rhonda
    July 22, 2008 | 4:01 pm
     

    Kim is right, you had at least another few (thousand) calls before your boss started pulling his hair out. Glad to hear that you are finally starting to feel “real” at work though. We all knew that it you had it in all along it was just a matter of you not questioning your own judgment. You are a strong, intelligent woman and it is gonna take way more than a “horrific, freak show” and a few thousand calls to make you look incompetent. Keep believing in yourself.

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