In My Perfect World…

Posted on Monday 27 November 2006

“If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.” –Jimmy Buffet

In a flash, in a moment, all that was past is past, and my future begins.

I will have to learn much, and I will have to be patient. But Miss Nancy tells me, “You will get it. I’ll make sure of it.” If I don’t, she adds, “We’ll post another help wanted sign in the window.”

I feel her faith in me.

I may not know how to evenly slice a pizza, or what order the toppings go on, but I know guests and their desire to be seated quickly so they can enjoy the best pie in town. And Miss Nancy knows I know this, and she is willing to give me a chance. So does her sister, Miss Betty. Because they have opened their second restaurant–Big Al’s Pizza Palace II–in the busiest strip mall in the county.

And they want a damn good party person to book the round table in the middle of it all.

But, I had to tell them both about my blog. I felt that was only fair.

I explained that I wanted to share my thoughts and stories, but would remain anonymous–unknown to anyone–telling stories about things that happened in the restaurant–and anything else that came to mind–to reflect on life in general.

Miss Nancy was intrigued. “So, you’ll write about our restaurant, and you won’t mention the name? Why not?”

Miss Betty said, her smile as wide as ever, “Hon, this business is all about our name! Use it!”

Now I was intrigued. “It’s best to keep it unknown–which I can do now that I am working in a new restaurant. No one will ever know where I am–trust me. Then you can make the best gourmet pizza in the city, I will work hard for you, and I can still write my stories.”

Miss Nancy seemed almost bored with my concern. “We make the best pizza, anyway. Might as well tell folks.”

Miss Betty looked right at me, and said: “Hon, write whatever you feel like. Me, I always hated writing papers in high school, so I don’t get why you even want to!”

Now I faced a dilemma, one I didn’t expect. They didn’t care if I wrote about them, even by name? Yikes!

I had to try one last argument to get them to see my point: “Miss Nancy, Miss Betty, maybe you don’t know about them–the phoodies. They could post messages on a grocery store bulletin board about this place and rant and rave like it’s their job. Don’t you get it, they could say I, um, SHILL for your restaurant!”

Miss Nancy stared long and hard at me, our gazes unbroken. Miss Betty looked down at the floor and shook her head, almost like she was trying not to laugh.

“Gal,” Miss Nancy said, “What we make here–it’s just food. Good pizza, yes–but just food, okay? Eat a thin crust now, it’s crap six hours later!”

“Ha! Like my sister says, lighten up, already! Write whatever the hell you want,” said Miss Betty, winking.

I had to stifle a smile at their simple, yet perfect logic.

“Yes, Gal, you go ahead and do your blog,” Miss Nancy continued. “You blog everyday. We couldn’t care less. Although you might mention the great pizza we serve, you know, now and then.”

Then she stood up straight–it’s a no-nonsense posture I am beginning to recognize. “But not while you are on the job here at the Palace II. You blog on your own time. We have work to do here. And you better be booking that party table every night with T-ball players and their parents for the first seating, and those crazy dodge ball teams for the late-night special!”

“Tell ’em to come on in, dirty jerseys and all!” laughed Miss Betty.

God love them. My freedom to work and write!

“Blog it!” they say.

Don’t you worry, Miss Nancy and Miss Betty, best bosses ever–I will.

56 Comments for 'In My Perfect World…'

    December 1, 2006 | 3:14 am

    You don’t garner enough readers or comments so you have to post a psuedo fight to get things going? Not only do I agree with Jo about you being “naive” [yeah right] about thinking you should NOT be outed – but you are the epitome of a narcissist.

    You talk incensantly about how wonderful your skills are and what a great job you do, [oh and if we read about your prowress at your previous occupation one more time? gah -go BACK there already] but you are so thinly veiled as to be obvious about where you “worked”….then when you fail, it is someone else’s fault because they outed you?….Puhleese….it is a public blog – but YOU are supposed to get special treatment? no..and NO….

    The t ball teams don’t deserve you – you will spend your entire evening instructing parents on how to discipline their kids in public…b/c RGD and S are such perfectly lovely spawn of your loins that you raised …dare I say it? Perfectly.

    Oh that’s right…you already blogged about that too – aack.

    You either need to remove yourself from the blogging world or you need to stop working in the restaurant biz….you and pizza? ah…not so much.

    Former Hostess
    December 1, 2006 | 1:58 pm

    Waiter4you, you are an ass.

    Since you appear to be so totally disgusted with this blog, perhaps you might consider the following: stop reading it! Those of us who enjoy it will continue reading it. You’re obviously free to do what you like and comment how you please, but since her blog does not seem to be written to your exacting standards, I might suggest reading another blog.

    There is a level of sophisticated humor in this particular post that apparently was well over your head. Oh well. I had a good laugh from it.

    Oh, and nice with the personal attacks on RG’s kids. That’s classy. Just because a mom loves her kids, let’s get her on that, too.

    December 6, 2006 | 1:09 am

    I stumbled upon this blog through another of my favorites, and I’m shocked at these comments. Before hitting this thread, I read a number of posts and quickly fell in love with RG’s writing style. Then I come in here and find nothing but accusations and self-congratulatory “outtings”. WTF? If you don’t like her writing, just move on to another blog. I was especially struck by the person complaining that she didn’t want some restaurant employee writing about her food stuck on her teeth. Ok, writers should never write about the actions of those they encounter in their day to day life. That makes a lot of sense. I have no idea who RG is, or even where she resides…and I really doubt that any of her co-workers or (especially) customers would even recognize themselves if they by chance stumbled upon this site.

    December 7, 2006 | 12:43 pm

    Wow you fools are really that bored huh? You outed somebody, whoop-de-doo. Maybe it validates your reason to be alive?

    Besides, when it comes down to it, it’s not really about the place of employement or the person, it’s about the stories and what they convey. If you are too busy trying to figure out who said what or is this person or whatever, than why bother even coming here at all? You just make yourselves look foolish, because nobody cares who RG really is or where she works or whatever. You just look like assholes with nothing better to do. Go ahead and justify it for yourselves and pat yourselves on the back, but nobody really cares about you when the day is over.

    And HeadHurt, when you are in public you will always be scrutinized.

    I guess the moral is look out for those crazy grocery store shopping website posters! They will get you!!11one Everyone will kno!!1

    December 7, 2006 | 12:45 pm

    and to scott

    they should always write about day to day experiences and people they interact with. After-all, what would there be to write about? If I acted like a true ass when I was out in public, and it wound up being online, I would inevitably deserve it, because I was in public for one, and for two I acted like an ass, and when is that really necessary? People are so pompous.

    This site is awesome 🙂

    December 11, 2006 | 3:28 pm


    Nice post RG. Keep it up.

Leave a comment



Information for comment users
Line and paragraph breaks are implemented automatically. Your e-mail address is never displayed. Please consider what you're posting.

Use the buttons below to customise your comment.

RSS feed for comments on this post | TrackBack URI