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Archive for May, 2006

The Circle Game

A day of celebrations and milestones. Several groups of girlfriends celebrating the final days at work for pregnant coworkers. Multiple families pushing strollers, celebrating their first visits to my city. So many college graduates, still wearing their black gowns, celebrating with so many proud parents. Four happy-birthday lunches. At least one office gathering to mark […]

I Live For Friday

One might imagine that a quiet Monday is a walk in the park for this maitre ‘d. And that Friday–usually the busiest, craziest day of the week for lunch–is the day to dread. Friday, it turns out, is what keeps me coming back on Monday. Friday means no down time until cutting time and all […]

Hey, I Used To Be…

…A writer. An editor. Someone whose work was pretty well received over the years. I am not simply the invisible hostess who seated you in a booth, then moved you to a bigger one in a closed section, just to be nice and make your lunch a happier and more comfortable one, when your party […]

These Are The Days

My favorite manager opened, and when he had time, he helped me seat the downstairs sections. My other favorite counterpart staffed the upstairs podium, and everyone–from walk-ins to large-group reservations–was easily and properly seated. The copier didn’t break down. The host who usually calls out, showed up–early. No one asked to change tables. I only […]

The Gal’s Pet Peeves, Vol. 1

( Guests )

Please allow me a few moments of whining via a list of pet peeves. I promise to get most of this out of my system right now, but I reserve the right to revisit the list every six months! Peeve 1: Unseasonably cool weather. Another rainy monday. It feels more like early March than mid […]

Duly Noted

( Guests )

Our restaurant allows patrons to book reservations online. Pretty simple–your type in your name, phone number, time, how many in the party. An option also exists called “Notes to the Maitre’d.” This past week, interspersed with the “It’s my friend’s birthday” and “Need a booster seat” comments, were these notes: * “This is a very […]

Backhanded Comment

( Guests )

Customers let me know how many people are in their parties several ways: * They speak: “Three, please. No reservations.” * They gesture: Three fingers, no words. * They offer a combination of the above. Now, the way people gesture the number of guests in their party is, I believe, directly related to: * Their […]

Best Tourist Ever

( Guests )

First came daughter. “I am waiting for two other people, no reservations. Is there a wait?” “No, I have a booth in one of our downstairs dining rooms. Would you like to be seated and we’ll send your other guests back when they arrive?” It’s almost noon, and if I don’t seat the next few […]

If A=Annoying Person on Tuesday, B=See You This Friday!

( Guests )

Now and then I have time at work (usually on a Tuesday afternoon between 2:07 and 2:22 p.m.) to reflect on the rude customer syndrome. It’s quite the hot topic in the media these days. Is this a new phenomenon? Are there really that many more rude people in the world? Or, are the numbers […]

Do You Have Any Mints?

( Guests )

No, we don’t have mints. Why don’t you have any mints? many customers ask. Here are some very good reasons why my restaurant will never have mints, as long as I am the maitre ‘d here: I do not want to spend countless minutes during my shift picking up half-eaten globs of candy stuck to […]